Nanci, a fellow harpist and a subscriber to Heart To Heart, left an inspirational comment on my last post, Just Go Get Some Work Done. She wrote “I need to accept my doubt and keep moving through it and just accept that doubts are part of the process.” Reading her comment made the mental champagne corks pop in my head, in a grand celebration of finally seeing the obvious.
Well, of course! Doubt is just part of the luggage on this trip. Sometimes it’s the size of a steamer trunk, sometimes it’s small enough to fit handily in the overhead compartment, but it comes along, uninvited, as part of the tour.
Doubt’s intensity rises and ebbs much like the tides, though I’ve discerned no predictable rhythm. But I can expect Doubt to show up with the same certainty as I expect the sun to rise. Rather than despairing when Doubt shows up yet again, rather than being scared by its words, and frantic about disproving its message, I might as well say, “Oh, hello, there you are, back again. Come on in, sit down, have some tea.”
As Nanci said, I need to accept Doubt. Recognize Doubt as one of my companions and make room for it at the table. Get acquainted with it, learn it’s features. Listen carefully to what it has to say, so that when I hear its words, I’ll know it’s Doubt talking to me, and nothing more.
When I invite Doubt in, when I quit running scared from its presence, it ceases to be a cause for drama or decisions. Doubt’s arrival does not require that I change what I’m doing, or that I make judgements and conclusions about my future abilities or inabilities, or that I give up my dreams.
Feelings come. Feelings go. Doubt is just one more feeling, as ephemeral as its whisper. All I need to do is breathe, and say “Welcome. Would you like some tea?”